Tearjerker movie

I just finished crying my way through the end of the movie To Each His Own starring Olivia de Havilland. I had never seen it before, and when it first came on after I watched the light-hearted That Touch of Mink, I didn't want to sit for it--especially when I saw de Havilland dressed as a drab older woman working her way through Christmas and New Year's Eve with nobody in her life. I left the tv on while I put William to bed--twice, since he had to go to the potty--and when I went back downstairs to straighten up and check email one last time, the movie had progressed (or rather flashed back) to where de Havilland was young and in love with a WWI pilot who was reporting to duty in a few hours. They had one night together, and she became pregnant. When she was told by the doctors she would have to have surgery to protect her life and would lose the baby, she thought it didn't make a difference. But when she returned home that afternoon, she received word that the pilot had been shot down and died, so she made up her mind not to have the surgery so the baby could live.

Because of the times, she could not let anyone know she was pregnant (except for her own father), and worked out a scheme with her hospital nurse to have her baby left on the doorstep of a neighbor in her town who had a dozen children plus one newborn, knowing they could not keep the baby. She would volunteer to take the baby home. All was going as planned until, while she was out buying baby supplies, the woman with her baby gave him away to another poor mother and friend in the town whose premature baby had just died. She thought this was the better solution--a family who was prepared for a baby and now desperately needing one versus a young, single girl. de Havilland's father convinced her to think of the well-being of the baby boy, to not let him be brought up labeled as an illigitimate son, and let the couple keep him. de Havilland stayed close by, filling in on the nanny's days off, but when the adoptive mother became jealous of the attention de Havilland was showing the baby, she pushed her away.

de Havilland had to watch her little boy grow up from a distance with pictures. I won't tell the rest of the story--there is a lot more to it--but the thought of the situation tore at my emotions. Movies and other stories grab at my heart so much more deeply now that I have William. I record all of his achievements, his advancements in his physical development, his verbal skills, everything. I have albums of his pictures to keep track of how he changes so quickly. I have videos to capture his movements, his giggles, his sweet voice. I cannot imagine the ache of not being able to be with him daily, spending my time with him, cherishing him.

The special routines we have are so precious. He has a little golden book about animals sounds. We read it together, me saying the beginning of the sentences and William completing the sentences with the correct sound. The book goes through puppies, kittens, ducks, pigs, sheep, donkeys, horses, etc until the last page where it states, "And Mommy says, 'I love you.'" William can't say I love you, yet, but when we reach that phrase, he smiles and leans in to me for a hug. When we say his prayer before bed, he comes to the edge of his crib and puts his forehead against my forehead as we pray together. He then says "Amen" and leans in for his hug and kiss. He fills my heart.

I know it was just a movie, but seeing her miss out on raising her son refreshes my deep undestanding of how God has blessed me.